May 11, 2012
A friend of mine got married recently…

I’m meeting him for dinner today and his wife is coming too and I’m going to meet her for the first time.

I’m actually really excited about seeing them both. I wasn’t able to go to the wedding for reasons and I haven’t talked to him too much recently but I’m really looking forward to seeing them both today. It’ll be the first time since last summer that I’m seeing him. He had just gotten engaged then so it was all pretty new.

There are so many people in my life who are getting married, having kids, getting engaged, and stuff that it’s making me feel really weird. I know I’m old and everyone is on my case right now.

It’s not good times.

2:55pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyLHON1o
(Notes: 7)
  
Filed under: marriage dinner wedding friend engagement old 
April 17, 2012

Anonymous asked: What are you looking for in a wife? :)

Hi, Anon :)

I’ve been thinking about this question for a few days and in all honesty I’m not looking for anything in particular. There’s no single quality I want more than any other. There’s no one single quality that would be a deal-breaker.

It’s more about what the woman has and how it comes together in her. I want to see a manifestation of those things so she becomes someone engaging and stimulating intellectually. I want someone who I feel would be a good mother to our children. I want someone who sees the world in the same way I do. I want someone who can talk to me for hours and hours about life, the universe, and everything but can also listen to me. I want someone who pushes me and makes me want to be a better person and Muslim. I want someone who makes me closer to God. I know we’ll have our bad moments so I want someone who has it in her to compromise.

I haven’t mentioned beauty or education or work or any of those things because it’s all negotiable. I feel I have attributes that I bring to the table but I feel like I’m more that those attributes. I want someone who sees me for me and I’m willing to look past, and through, the standard list of things in her and try to see her for the person she really is.

I feel like I will have the world to offer to the right woman when she comes along, in sha Allah. I know that being a husband and a father is going to be the most important thing I do in life and I want to make sure it’s the thing I do the best.

Or you can be Christine.

2:34am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyJoIF8x
(Notes: 5)
  
Filed under: Anonymous ask me anything marriage wife islam muslim what a deep question i have no idea who I'm going to end up with and it scares the crap out of me sometimes christine christinecs 
March 3, 2012
The main topic of conversation in my household today…

My getting married. Yay!

Does anyone want to get married to me?

4:51pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyHOitUA
(Notes: 8)
  
Filed under: woe is me marriage 
February 25, 2012
Replies…

saraharaha replied to your post: For your anon. For women, the ideal time to marry comes too soon and ends too soon. It’s as if we’re not allowed to live our lives because this “significant event”…

lo psych, I beg to differ. I’m a women and come from a culture/faith that encourages early marriage but it isn’t going to happen unless I’m ready. Never excuse your agency and try to blame it on religion/family and co. You can always say NO.

Damn straight!

saraharaha replied to your photoset: I love cultural appropriation. My beard is…

LOL I’m mad you’re proudly culture-appropriateing but eh, sweet beard, CARRY ON YOU UNITED SCUM!

You’re just jealous my beard is better than yours! I’ve been in Saudi for 18 months… isn’t that long enough for me to become, at least partly, Arab?

10:57pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyH1MswF
Filed under: reply replies saraharaha beard saudi saudi arabia ksa marriage marry jealous 
February 25, 2012

Anonymous asked: For your anon. For women, the ideal time to marry comes too soon and ends too soon. It's as if we're not allowed to live our lives because this "significant event" is going to occur and thus our lives are put on pause. The remote is controlled by society. The people who talk, question, who name, shame and embarrass. The age, from my experience, has come at 25 although I know of others who were slammed younger and others older. It depends on how long a women can put up with the scrutiny really.

Here you go, Anon. An answer from a woman.

2:48pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyG-m1Mx
(Notes: 2)
  
Filed under: anon ask me anything anonymous marriage marry age society 
February 25, 2012

Anonymous asked: What's the "marriageable age"? Is it 30? And is it the same for both men and women?

In all honesty, I don’t think there’s one single marriageable age for all men and for all women. It depends on so many factors and the most important of those being cultural with socio-economic being not too far behind.

One this is for sure that there’s a gap between what that age is for men and what it is for women. I think, for men, it might be the 30 mark but for women it’s closer to 25. You’ll have to ask a woman about what age it might be for them because I can’t answer for sure on their behalf.

3:05am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyG_Q721
Filed under: anon annonymous ask me anything marry marriage age 
February 24, 2012

Anonymous asked: I for one know that I am a different anon as the last question wasn't by me. Anyway, what are your thoughts on the societal and often familial pressures on getting married. I'm a female that has crossed her "marriageable age" status and it breaks my heart at the situations I have to face. What do you think about this though? Do you face any pressures?

You’re not ManBoof? That’s a shame.

You know, I’m twenty-nine years old. I’m getting past ‘marriageable age’ as you put it. I’ve had family on my case for a few years to get married but it’s not worked out for one reason or another. The pressures guys feel is totally different from the pressures women feel and, in all honesty, I wouldn’t even know where to start on commenting about it. I’m sorry that you’re going through a difficult time. I hope it eases for you.

Personally, it’s not been all that bad since I’ve been in Saudi but I know it’s going to be worse than ever when I go back home. Time will tell how it all works out.

I feel the individual should have a lot more of a say about when they are ready and understand the actions that need to be taken when they are. Marriage is marriage. I don’t have any grand insight in to it. All I can advise is for you to stay strong and do what makes sense for you. After all, you’re the one who knows what does and doesn’t feel right for you.

4:34pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyGyMVx2
Filed under: marriage pressure family anon ask me anything anonymous saudi saudi arabia home 
February 24, 2012

Anonymous asked: So you would marry a Christian or a Jew?

I would want my children to be Muslim so I feel it’s best for me to marry a Muslim woman. Although it’s possible to marry a Christian or a Jew I feel there would be added problems on top of existing issues that could stem from a marriage. Marriage isn’t easy and it requires two people to be on the same page and willing to make compromises and sacrifices in order to work together. The more differences two people have the greater the possible friction. Religion is so fundamental in the lives of so many people that it is something that’s easy to clash on.

After saying all that, if the right Christian or Jewish woman was to come along I wouldn’t see a major problem with marrying her but it’s something I would have to be as sure as possible about.

Allah knows best.

(Is Bar Refaeli singe?!)

1:50pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyGy1g0j
(Notes: 3)
  
Filed under: Allah anon anonymous ask me anything christian islam jew marriage muslim religion bar refaeli 
February 24, 2012

Anonymous asked: OH WOW. Anon is so cool. Ok, serious question. Views on inter-race and inter-faith marriages?

You know I think of all anons are just one single anon, right?

Inter-racial marriages I have no problems with whatsoever. I feel if the couple understand some of the cultural differences that could occur and work through and past those then it’s no problem.

Inter-faith marriages are a bit more complex. As a Muslim I believe that a Muslim man can only marry a “woman of the book” such as a Muslim, Christian, or Jewish woman. Islam teaches that a Muslim woman can only marry a Muslim man. This is because religion is passed through the father in Islam. My religion is very important to me so I feel I’ll be sticking to that teaching. For other people, it’s not my place to judge anyone regardless of who they want to marry or how they marry them. May Allah give them happiness and show them the way to the path.

1:43pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyGy0-Kn
Filed under: anon anonymous ask me anything race marriage religion islam christianity judaism Muslim 
January 16, 2012
Another post about my house mate… (with pictures!)

So… I’ve been talking about my house mate a lot on this blog for the last few months. I’ve used all sorts of adjectives and superlatives to describe how great a guy he is and how much I love him. He’s a 24 years old British-Pakistani, has a law degree, and currently has a great job in Saudi Arabia. He’s very religiously knowledgeable, he’s super-smart, sensible, and on the ball with all sorts of issues. He’s a thinking man and prides himself on his logic and ability to think through a situation but he’s not boring at all. He’s quick to laugh and is fast when it comes to telling jokes. He’s the complete package.

Last week he asked me if I was willing to take some pictures of him because his mum wanted to show some girls for potential rishtas. He’s looking to get married but there’s no one for him to get married to at the moment. This is where you fine Tumblr people come in…

Read More

11:15pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyEu88Pv
(Notes: 13)
  
Filed under: photography rishta marriage marry muslim islam house mate housemate smart funny love british pakistani law saudi arabia saudi ksa religion smart funny logic boring 
January 9, 2012
Hmmm… Interesting choice.

Hmmm…

Interesting choice.

9:09pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyEWgt73
(Notes: 49)
  
Filed under: marriage wedding marry divorce phd education study lazy lucky 
January 7, 2012

Anonymous asked: You get gay men in saudi?I thought it wasn't allowed? Just curious..

Haha… I don’t ‘get’ gay men in Saudi but there are gay men here, yeah. You have to realise that it’s just like any place in the world. Just because something is made illegal doesn’t mean people don’t partake in homosexual activities.

In some ways it’s easier to be gay in Saudi Arabia than to be straight and mix with women before marriage. Two men hanging out together is far less suspicious than a man and a woman hanging out together.

There’s this excellent article about homosexuality in Saudi Arabia on the Atlantic. You can read it here. It’s kind of eye-opening. It’s long but a very interesting read.

5:42am  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyEOEik2
(Notes: 7)
  
Filed under: Anonymous ask me anything gay homosexual saudi saudi arabia ksa marriage the atlantic 
December 22, 2011
So… I’m trying to create a biodata thing…

but I have no idea what to write in one of these things.

Do I include a picture? Do I write about my past, present, and future? What exactly do I focus on? Do I include a picture? Do any of you have a link to an example I can emulate?

A guy at work wants me to meet some friend of his wife but wants me to pass along a biodata sheet thing beforehand.

I’ve heard of the term before but I have no idea what to include in it!

Do any of you guys have any tips for me?

7:18pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyDdrNsa
(Notes: 6)
  
Filed under: marriage wedding biodata muslim islam 
November 30, 2011
One of my friends got engaged a few days ago

I saw some of the pictures from her engagement party today. It’s all way too cool.

It’s so surreal when my friends get married.

She’s getting married in July and I’m going to go. I can’t wait!

7:58pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyCdyDoG
(Notes: 1)
  
Filed under: marriage engagement 
October 24, 2011
I want a baby

Ha! I know this is a really strange thing to write about but I really want a baby. I don’t want to get married or have a wife or any of that stuff but I want a baby boy or girl of my own.

I’ve been thinking about what kind of father I’d be a whole lot and I seriously think I’m ready to have a baby but not to be a husband, not right this moment.

I look at my nieces and nephews and I wonder what it would be like to keep one of them for myself. I think if I had a girl I would want her to be just like Ayesha and if I had a boy I would want him to be just like Ibby (you can find pictures of both of them on this blog). I have no idea if I’d be a strict father or a friend to my kids. I have no idea if I’d push them to do all these extra-curricular activities or let them choose their own path. I have no idea if I’d sculpt and mould them to be everything I ever wanted to be or not.

All I know is that I have a lot of love to give and I feel I’m in a position where I could have children and not have them want for anything in their lives.

I think it’s going to be a while before I have my own kids though because I really do need to get married first - obviously… until then I’ll just spoil my nieces and nephews whenever I can.

Then, I think about the state of the world and it fills me with sadness and it makes me feel like this world is no place to bring life in to. Allah knows best.

8:23pm  |   URL: http://tmblr.co/ZVTONyB3gjZ1
(Notes: 12)
  
Filed under: baby child children boy girl broody brooding father marry marriage love niece nephew world allah islam muslim