I performed istikhara with isha tonight. I’ve been meaning to do it for days and weeks now but I’ve been avoiding it. I think I wasn’t ready to really know what to do. I don’t think I was really ready to step forwards and know how to proceed. I didn’t want to perform the istikhara because I was scared.

For those of you who don’t know the istikhara is a prayer of guidance. It’s a prayer where you have a decision to make and you leave the path you take to Allah. You ask Allah to give you knowledge and power as it all comes from Him. You ask Allah to help make your path easy if it is righteous in the name of Islam, your personal well-being, and the best for your afterlife. You ask Allah to take you away from that path if it is damaging for your faith, your well-being, and your afterlife. Instructions on how to perform it are here.

I asked Allah to make my decision to go home, to England, for the best. I asked Allah to make leaving Saudi for the best. I asked Allah to realise if it’s the best decision for me to go home on March first. Alhamdulilah, as soon as I completed the prayer a wave of euphoria ran through me. I got a rush of warmth surge through me. It felt right. I have faith in Allah. I know now that going home will be for the best. All doubts have been removed.

Tomorrow I’ll pray istikhara again. The istikhara for tomorrow is going to be even bigger than the one I performed today. The istikhara tomorrow will shape the path the rest of my life takes.