but I can’t bring myself to start just yet.

I’ve been thinking a whole lot today. It’s strange because it’s like I have all these things and opinions within me but it seems like I need other people to bring them to the surface for me. I feel like I need people to help show me a path.

Anyway… I was made to think about the way I make friends with people - real and online. I’ve been made to think about this blog and the way I write about things. I was made to think about the person I am and the person I have it in me to be.

I think that the direction of this blog will change again over the next few weeks and months. I remember when it first started I’d write just one long post a day and it wouldn’t be all that personal. I’d write about stuff that was happening or my thoughts on one thing or another.

When I went home for the summer I started to write a lot more about my personal life. I started to write a lot more posts but shorter posts. You got more of my personality but less depth - less essence.

I put a lot of myself on this blog. I share a whole lot of my life but not all my life. There are so many topics that interest me that you would never realise from just looking at my blog. There are so many things in this world that fascinate me that you’ll never know by just reading this blog. I think I’m going to start writing about some of those things. I’m going to start writing about philosophy and art and music and literature and politics and sport and the news and academia and everything. I’m going to make this blog smarter. I’m going to put more thought in to the posts I write. I’m going to actually start editing posts instead of publishing them right away. I’m going to ponder and think and be more critical of the world I live in.

I want to be more creative. I want to be expressive.

I think all this will come at the cost of my personality being limited in expression but you’ll see other sides of me. I think it’ll be exciting. I’m smiling just thinking about it.

I was thinking of the kind of person I am to those of you who I’ve started to talk to through tumblr. I’ve made relationships that have changed my life. I’ve made relationships and friendships with some really interesting and fascinating people through tumblr and I’m so grateful for that. I don’t know how that’s going to change when I go home. I’m already finding it difficult to reply to people’s ask messages and emails. I feel like I’m a terrible friend but it all takes too much time. I have a feeling that part of me might be curtailed. I hope I’m still able to make time but I don’t know how it’ll be.

Regardless of how I want this blog to change and how it will change, I know that tumblr is a part of me. My blog is a part of me. Every post reflects my thoughts, my hopes, my feelings in one way or another. As long as I stay true to that spirit I feel like I’ll still enjoy writing here. I still feel like I’ll have something that you guys will enjoy reading.

I’m coming up to a pretty big milestone of followers for me. I never thought I’d reach it but you guys still keep following me and I’m so grateful for each and everyone of you - even if I don’t follow you back. I’m not going anywhere but I think I will be changing a little bit - hopefully for the better.