For you guys who have been following me for a while, you all know that I didn’t have the best time in the history of the world out there. You know that I found certain parts of my life out there hard. I wasn’t happy even though I had so much going for me - things other people would want. I decided to quit because I feel there was an emptiness in my life. I felt like I was going round and around and around. It was stifling. It was mundane. It was my life. I realised how to change that, though.

I stayed out in Saudi for as long as I could to save up as much cash as possible. When I knew my target was within reach I quit my job and came home. Coming home at this time was very deliberate. I came home so I could work towards getting in to medical school.

It’s something I’ve thought about for a long but never thought it would be a path I’d be able to take. I didn’t know if I have the dedication or motivation for it. I had the passion and the interest but I doubted myself. It’s one of the reasons why I studied law and then worked in politics. I felt that I could do those jobs far more easily. I got my undergraduage degree and then my masters degree but I was never challenged. I was never pushed. I was always dissatisfied with the path I was taking.

Being in Saudi helped me realise that I was capable of doing so much more. There are people in my life who have helped me realise that I’m capable of so much more and I’m forever grateful for them helping me realise that. There are people who have encouraged me every step of the way and asked me all the right questions. These people, especially one in particular, showed me that I could do great things, that I had it in me to reach so incredibly high. I can’t thank them enough. The way they never gave up on me and always believed in me, even when I didn’t believe in myself, is something I will never forget.

Anyway… right now I’m studying towards taking entrance exams in September and applying for universities in October - 4 out of Newcastle, King’s, Nottingham, Keele, St. George’s, and Swansea but almost certainly the first two. Then (insha Alllah) I’ll have interviews for medical school between December and February for school to start again in September 2013. The reason why I said I might be going back to Saudi in 2013 was to spend those months between interviews and starting school saving up money out there.

I didn’t want to write about this plan for the longest time. I didn’t want to share my thoughts and ideas with the world because sharing something can impact things in negative and positive ways and I just wasn’t ready to have that negative influence on my plans. It was a quote that Christine posted (she’s amazing, follow her!) that really made me think about sharing this plan. The quote hit me pretty hard. I actually even reblogged it - which is so rare for me.

Right now I feel like my plans are more solid than they ever have been before. Right now I feel like I’m on a firm path. I know what I want to do and how it has to be done and I’m doing it.

One of the reasons I haven’t been blogging all that much in the last few months was because this is one of the biggest things going on in my life and I just didn’t want to share it with the world yet. That it was impacting everything else for me on here. I feel like the time is now. I feel like this is what I’m going to do.

There’s a high chance of failure. The odds are against me in the steepest way but I’m determined to make this happen. I have to make this happen. With Allah’s help it will happen.