January 18, 2012
I’m letting myself think of England…

and the things that will need to be done when I get back. I’m thinking about the route my life will take. I’m thinking about my family. I’m thinking about my friends. I’m thinking about the person I need to be when I step off the plane.

When I stepped off the plane and landed in Saudi Arabia I made a few promises to myself and, alhamdulilah, I kept them.

I have promises in my mind right now that I want to make to myself when I walk in to the Heathrow terminal on that cold Thursday morning on March first. I want to promise myself that I’m going to be a certain version of myself, the best version of myself, from that day on.

I’ll have an idea what path it is that I’ll be walking when I step off that plane this time tomorrow. I’ll have an idea of what the future holds in store for me.

I’m regaining my optimism. I’m regaining my hope. I feel like my life has direction for the first time in month - maybe the first time ever.

It’s liberating.

It’s ironic that starting to walk a path that will bind me to it for the rest of my life is incredibly liberating.

September 7, 2011
Replies…

ithedivine said: it probably will stay with you forever and yeah thats exactly what i meant, it doesn’t sound weird i know exactly what you mean.

It’s so cool that you understand. It’s like there’s someone out there who really gets my mental state. I guess you can only really understand if you’ve reached that place, you know, and lived through it and beyond it.

jumana replied to your post: So I spent a week in Dubai…well, at least you t’es changé les idées. :P

Jums! I don’t know what that means… something about changing my ideas? Explain :P

thatslegit replied to your post: have a great day tomorrow! remember to enter the…

complete sense. I approve of such optimism :)

You know, optimism is my default position in life. It’s just, recently, there have been a few difficult things going on with me but, alhamdulilah, I feel like I’m past it all now. The worst of it is behind me and I have some wonderful things to look forward to, in sha Allah.

lavieaunoir replied to your post: So, I had a secret tumblr…

Keep your head up mate, you’ve done the right thing.

I miss writing there. It was kind of liberating. Sure, the topic was stifling and limited but that didn’t matter. It served a very specific purpose. Right now things are all good so it doesn’t matter but it helped when things weren’t so good, you know.

leavemetodream answered your question: So… I’m going to start taking driving lessons in Saudi again…

Saudi roads are treacherous! Be careful!

Oh my God! I knew that they were treacherous but really experienced it the hard way yesterday morning.

explicithandlz replied to your post: Do you know what I love?
I totally agree! Although I prefer cold showers, a warm shower once in a while is nice. Nirvana!

Pssshhhh :P Cold showers aren’t fun at all! Actually, they only work after intense cardio workouts. Nirvana are the best at any time of day or night.

explicithandlz replied to your post: So, I had a secret tumblr…
I made the mistake of writing secret private facebook notes, back in the day, and one day accidentally posted on publicly. It’s much better to keep this stuff closer to the vest. A journal is a better idea

Well… I didn’t mind my words being public but it was just that I wanted the audience to be removed. I felt I couldn’t write about things on this blog. I have a journal but I’m not disciplined enough to write in it. I just have to train myself.

free-syrian replied to your post: Don’t worry… I’m fine but this is fucked up… I could have died
Oh my god.

I know, right? I’m glad I was in the white car and not the black one…

foudaism replied to your post: My left knee still hurts from yesterday.
Omg you had a CAR CRASH!! Inshallah like you say it’s nothing serious, but still you should see a doctor! Get well soon.

Yeah, it was much worse than my last car crash too. My last one was just a small bump. This one was serious. The other car suffered so much damage but the driver was fine, alhamdulilah. I don’t really need to see a doctor. It’s only my knee that hurts and it’s not really all that bad, to be honest. It’ll be fine tomorrow, I think.

nadia11 replied to your post: My left knee still hurts from yesterday.
Hope it gets better soon..

Thank you :) In sha Allah, it will.

August 25, 2011
Travelling without a plan…

So, tomorrow I leave for Dubai and I don’t really have any specific plans for my week out there. I have a rough idea of what I’m doing but I have no idea of when I’m doing any of the things I want to. I mentioned a few things on this blog a couple of days ago for things that I wanted to do but I don’t have a schedule at all.

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