In 2009 a cousin of mine sent me a facebook request. I accepted him as a friend. A few months later a shit storm kicked off in my house hold. Said cousin showed pictures that I had on my profile of me with female friends to my mother and asked her if that was what they had sent me to London to do my masters for. Mum reacted in an extremely immature way and it took months to placate her. At one point she was threatening to withhold money that I needed to complete my education.

I deleted that cousin as a friend and made my security settings on facebook a lot tighter. I deleted a whole lot of other family members too.

I had learnt my lesson that people would take something fairly innocuous and manipulate it and twist it to use against you. I was angry, I felt betrayed, but I let it slide. It wasn’t the done thing for him to do. After that happened I completely distanced myself from him and his family. I went as far as hardly talking to any of them for years. My relationship with them is still more formal than it is with other relatives. Still it was a long time ago and I’m not one to hold grudges for too long.

A couple of days ago I went to my uncle’s house for something and I started talking to him (not the father of that cousin but his uncle too). We were talking about how I’m hardly around because I’ve only seen him a handful of times since I came back from Saudi. He asked me why I came back and I told him I had a plan and he asked me if I was going to get a job and I told him that I’m not looking for work right now because I need the time. We talked for a while and then the topic changed.

My uncle said to me that he saw some videos of me online and they disturbed him. One was of me singing from last summer that I uploaded as a joke with one of my friends. The second was the video of me from December where I shaved my head. He went on to say that this behaviour wasn’t Islamic and that he thought that I’d changed and become more religiously aware but that it wasn’t the case at all and that I shouldn’t be broadcasting such things on the internet. I asked him who showed him the videos and he said it was the brother of the cousin I mentioned at the top of this post. He said my cousins talked about how I’m a terrible Muslim and a bad person and a whole bunch of other things.

I entered a pretty long and detailed discussion with my uncle where I fought my corner. The pictures in the past shouldn’t have been there but I didn’t think either of these videos merited the comments he made towards me. I felt they were completely out of order and my cousin showing my uncle the videos was disgusting behaviour. I explained that, as a Muslim, one should hide the sins of the people around them and to give them excuses. I explained that spreading gossip and information about a person in a negative light is an abhorrent act as a Muslim. I said that talking about a person’s level of faith when they are not there is malicious and scandalous behaviour that is a big sin in Islam.

I turned around to my uncle and told him that I might have committed a sin (I was singing in one video and was topless in the second) but that sin wasn’t as bad as the sin he had committed with my cousins when they gossiped about me. I was pissed off but I kept my cool really well and made excellent points.

I came home and I was still pissed off. This time something different from what had happened before occurred. In 2009 I didn’t confront my cousin about his actions. This time I picked up my phone and called his brother. I asked him if he had a minute to talk and he said yes so I explained my position to him and how he acted in an extremely unislamic way. I told him I was shocked and disgusted by his behaviour. He let me speak and when I was finished he said that the points I made were fair but that it wasn’t him who showed my uncle the video. I told him I didn’t want to know who did but whoever did should realise that when you point one finger towards someone else you’re pointing three back towards yourself.

Anyway, I’m still pissed off about the whole situation. I’m still angry that people don’t know how to mind their own business. I’m a very different person now from the person I was in 2009 and attacking my level of faith is something I take incredibly personally because it’s something I’ve worked on an incredible amount over the last couple of years and I feel I’m a much better person because of that.

They’re not going to stop me from blogging. They’re not going to stop me from speaking my mind and publishing what I want.

If they have a problem with me I want to tell them that they should bring it up with me. If they have a problem with my faith bring it up with me. If they have a problem with me go about dealing with it in the correct Islamic way - the argument they use against me - instead of being cowards and disgusting individuals about the matter. If they have anything to say to me then say it to my face. The have my phone number. They know my address. Let’s discuss it like Muslims.

That goes for everyone out there. I’m above taking your shit. You’re not going to get me down. You’re not going to impact my life in any way. Your actions have shown, time and again, that I’m the bigger person than all of you who think that way. Only Allah knows who is the better Muslim but performing haram actions whilst championing Islam and using it to slander someone isn’t something you really should be doing. Hypocrisy isn’t a cool look this year.

I just want to leave you with these verses from the Quran, the words of Allah:

“O you who believe! Avoid much suspicion, for some suspicions are a sin. Do not spy on one another, nor backbite one another. Would one of you love to eat the flesh of his dead brother? Nay, you would abhor it, [so similarly, avoid backbiting]. And fear Allah. Indeed, Allah is Most Forgiving, Most Merciful.” Qur’an, [49:12]

“And do not follow that of which you do not have knowledge. Indeed, the hearing, the sight and the heart - [you] will be asked about all of those.” Qur’an, [17:36]

“He does not utter a [single] word, except that there is, with him, [an angel] ready and waiting [to record it].” Qur’an, [50:18]