May 8, 2012

Anonymous asked: hey man its manboof got myself into some deep shite and since u give good advice i was hopin u wud pls help me? its got to do with wat i accidentally did to my dog's pet rat. cud u pls help me out? forever grateful sistah, i love them turkey sandwiches, thanks for inviting me ovah to ur place last year. sorry i been missin for ages but i cant get ovah this pain that ur turkey sandwich got in my stomach like food poisoning or turkey poisoning man help out a bro in need thanks lotsa love to me.

Oh, ManBoof, what crazy things do you get yourself in to?! At least you got away from Hawaii. Where have you been? I thought you ran away with Suzy!

What did you do to your dog’s pet rat? How can I help you?

Food poisoning isn’t fun at all. You should be really careful about what you eat.

March 25, 2012

moonlightturkdeactivated2012 asked: How did you lose all that weight ?? :DDD

I lost it through diet control and running. There was never any food that was off the menu for me but I just tried to be as healthy as possible. I never calorie counted, really. I just knew that I needed to run more on some days than others.

I wrote about it in a really detailed way in a post that you can read here.

March 20, 2012

alessandraalmannie asked: I just came across your blog and I just wanted to say thank you for making me smile and laugh especially at your responses to these anon comments. I don't see anything wrong with the way you look btw, I don't get it. Anyway any advice you can give to a woman who is going to be moving to Riyadh in the near future would be greatly appreciated! Shukran!

Thank you for your message. It was so great to hear from you! Thank you. Anons just have a problem with my bobble-shaped head.

What are you going to be doing in Riyadh? I wish you the best of luck for when you’re out there. If you have any specific questions, please don’t hesitate to ask! I guess my standard advice is that you should go out there with really low expectations - think the worst of everything - and you can only be pleasantly surprised! It sounds like you’re already progressing in Arabic which is a good start.

February 25, 2012

I love cultural appropriation.

My beard is getting long again. Should I shave it?

February 23, 2012

Anonymous asked: hey gurlfriend i been followin ya for a long time and lyk was wonderin if u cud pls give me sum gud advice on sum probs i been experiencin in mid life crisis situation. see i used to hav a pet dawg and i was goin to da movies dis one time and cos i didnt wanna leave Boof (dawg's name) so i took him wit me and hid him unda neath ma seat but then da chick behind me saw him n started screaming nd den da police came n prosecuted us. since u noe lots bout movies and police help out a brutha in need

Ermm… Anon… what have you been smoking? There’s so much wrong with your message that I don’t even know where to start.

First of all capital letters, correct spelling, sentence structure, grammar, and punctuation are your friends. Secondly, I’m not your girlfriend. Finally, I have no idea why you think I’d be able to help with your problems with Boof.

I don’t know what sneaking your dog in to the cinema and getting caught has to do with having a mid-life crisis. From the sound of things you certainly have more pertinent and imminent problems you need to address.

I guess my advice for you would be to leave Boof at home, get yourself to your local college and take a couple of English classes, and put down whatever it is you’ve been smoking because I don’t think it’s great for your health.

Would any of you guys like to help my anon out?

January 8, 2012
When inspiration to write anything fails you just post pictures of yourself.

It works!

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Filed under: writing gpoy advice 
December 3, 2011
A few quick things about me for my new followers

  • I’m old… I’m going to be 29 later this month. In tumblr terms that’s ancient.
  • I live and work in Saudi Arabia. I teach at a university in Riyadh but I’m going to be quitting soon and returning home to England.
  • I stand at 6ft 4in tall.
  • I’m Muslim!
  • I love to travel and wouldn’t mind visiting anywhere in the world at least once.
  • I can talk to pretty much anyone about a whole host of topics and the topics I don’t know much about I love to listen to people talk about them, especially if they’re very enthusiastic about them.
  • A whole bunch of people come to me for advice but I’m terrible at taking my own advice.
  • I have eight nieces and nephews and I post pictures of them on my blog sometimes - a lot more when I’m home.
  • I like taking photographs and have a Canon 550D for that purpose.

Tell me some things about you! Get in touch. What makes you interesting?

November 25, 2011
Today’s been an interesting day

I talked to a couple of my friends and I’ve taken steps towards making some pretty big decisions in my life. I talked about logistics and possibilities and back-up plans if what I want to happen doesn’t happen. I made a plan that could see me through to the middle of 2013 at the earliest but, in sha Allah, up to even later.

It’s three months before I leave Saudi and I need to get started on this plan of mine as soon as possible if I’m going to make it work. I don’t really have all that much time and I need to make every day count.

I know I’m being cryptic but I don’t really want to talk about any of this yet. I need to perform an istikhara because this is a massive decision for me. I need to look towards God to understand this possible course of action and see if it’s the right one for me to take.

October 19, 2011

Anonymous asked: Teach me how to loose weight. I've read some stuffs on your blog about your weight loss and i got stoked! please help me. :D thanks!

I wrote a post some months ago with my best ever weight loss advice. Read it here and if you have any questions about what I wrote please feel free to ask!

September 15, 2011
I have this philosophy where…

if I don’t have something nice to say about a person I try my best to say nothing at all. I can’t always hold myself to that standard and I sometimes falter but I try my very best.

I pride myself on not gossiping in most instances, especially when the gossip is malicious, and I will actually go as far as to remove myself from a conversation that is unpleasant in that sense. When I do say things about a person it is never something I wouldn’t say to their face.

Anyway, this post isn’t about that. This post is about someone but it’s about them in the best possible way. I’m hesitant writing it because I know this person reads my blog sporadically and it’s not really something they might want out in the world but I really feel like getting these thoughts down in this moment.

For the last hour and a half my house mate has been talking to me. We’ve been talking about the events of the last 18 hours and what they all mean. The things we talked about isn’t the point of this post but more about how we talked.

The amazing thing about him, I lovingly call him Panda, is that he is phenomenally patient and wise. He is incredibly sensible and, even when he doesn’t fully agree with a situation, he is able to empathise and formulate lines of thinking that are logical and sensible. He listens for hours on end without any complaint and is always attentive and responsive. He doesn’t check out of a conversation.

Since the 2nd of September, when he got back, he’s become my rock. He’s become the one person who I tell everything to as it is happening in my life and go to for advice in the first instance. I’ve opened up to him so much that it sometimes scares me. I’ve always been weary of talking to people about personal issues in Saudi Arabia because I’ve never known who I can trust or not but he’s shown me, over and over, that I can trust him completely.

This post is a dedication to him and the goodness he brings in to my life. I can say, unequivocally, that I love him. Our friendship has really blossomed over time and I hold him in incredibly high regard. I know our friendship isn’t as balanced as it could be at the moment, I take more than I give, but I hope to make that up to him in time, in sha Allah.

September 7, 2011

shathaw asked: Yeah i think one of the hardest things in life is to stay focused on good thing but we have to keep trying,you're right i was thinking of starting answering them,i answered some of them in my head but i think should write them but what stops me is my writing its horrible i make a lot of grammer mistakes i believe the best way to improve it is to read a lot i tried to read this summer so i bought some big books but i ended up not finishing any cus the translations i got tired of it,any advice?

Staying focused on the good, positive things is certainly admirable but sometimes it can be difficult. Regardless of how good your intentions are you can still get caught out, you know.

If you do start answering them, let me know because I would love to read your answers. Don’t worry about mistakes. You learn through your mistakes. Reading does help but so does exposure to the language in all areas, speaking, listening, and writing included! They’re all just as important as the other (can you tell I’m an English teacher?!). My best advice is to not give up and keep pushing yourself everyday. The fruits of your hard work will be clear soon enough. Don’t just focus on big boring books but read anything and everything.

August 27, 2011

Anonymous asked: Quick question. I've never known this. I know you don't represent all Muslims and that there is probably a lot of difference of thought in this regard, but what is the Islamic stance on homosexuality? What are your personal thoughts? How do you reconcile your thoughts with official teachings? Thanks :D

Okay… You ask a quick question but it’s one without a quick answer. You’re totally right, I don’t represent ALL Muslims at all. The only Muslim I represent is me. Anything I say is my personal opinion. I’m not fully aware of all the scripture directly related to homosexuality so I can’t quote anything for you.

I believe the Islamic stance on homosexuality is that it’s a sin. A lot of Muslim countries punish a person guilty of homosexual with death but the evidence required has to be rigorous for the person to receive that punishment. You can check this wikipedia page as an introductory reading position with quotes from Qur’an and hadith http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/LGBT_topics_and_Islam

My personal thoughts are that homosexuality is a sin. After that what a person does is none of my concern. I don’t believe being gay takes a person out of Islam, depending on their intentions when they have gay relations. Because it doesn’t take a person out of Islam, it is not my position to judge them. Even if it did take them out of Islam, I don’t feel it’s my position to judge a person. If a person is non-Muslim and is gay then I feel it is more important to try to show them the path of Islam than to attack their homosexuality. If a person is Muslim and gay then they should be given advice but it should be done in the most tactful way possible. There’s a whole philosophy is Islam about how one should give another advice. If I see two guys walking down the street holding hands or making out or whatever I don’t think about it too much. There are more important things in my life than adopting a holier-than-thou attitude. I know a few people who are gay and I’m perfectly comfortable in their company. I’m not freaked out by gay people or shocked by them. I don’t know if that’s because I’ve been desensitised to it by living in the West or whatever but that’s just how I am.

Well… the clash between my thoughts and official teachings is very interesting in that there’s no clash between my thoughts and official teachings. What there is a clash between is what we see in the world around us. People focus on homosexuality as a huge sin but they don’t realise that not praying is one of the most fundamental sins a Muslim can commit. There is nothing more important than getting your own religion in order first. I see a lot of hypocrisy in people’s words and their actions. I’m not arguing the ‘he who has not sinned, cast the first stone’ line of thinking here but I strongly dislike hypocrisy and the sad fact is that there’s a lot of that when it comes to applying Islamic teachings. People are too quick to judge others, especially without evidence. People substitute gossip for evidence. It’s scary.

When a person chooses to perform homosexual activities then they need to be aware of the consequences of that in relation to where in the world they are. If you’re in the West, then go for it… it’s your legal right. If you’re in Saudi or another country like it then you have to be very careful because it could lead to death for you (depending on how you got caught). The thing is that the gay person will be judged by God, just like everyone else will be. In the end, Allah knows best.

I feel like I’ve touched on everything you’ve asked but if you feel anything I said was lacking then please feel free to ask follow up questions. Like I said before, though, I can only answer from my very limited knowledge and my personal opinions.

August 14, 2011

To beard or not to beard… What do you guys think? What looks better?

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Filed under: advice beard shave 
June 30, 2011
12. If you could offer a newborn child only one piece of advice, what would it be?

This is the kind of question I expect from this list of questions. It’s the kind of question that shows what the person answering it holds as the cornerstone of their daily actions. It shows what the person answering it sees as the most important part of their life. I’m going to talk about a couple of possible pieces of advice and then pick one.

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